| ||
| ||
|
||
|
|
|
Finding Compatible E-Dates
In the world of online dating misrepresentation is at an all time high. Janice, a fitness enthusiast, was excited about her e-mail exchange with Rob. He seemed to share her interest in fitness and the outdoors. They wrote about mountain biking, skiing and golfing. Rob suggested an interest in these activities, but never mentioned once having engaged in any of them. When Janice and Rob met it became apparent that he was not a fitness or outdoors enthusiast. In real life he also looked much older than in the picture that accompanied his online profile. He had misrepresented himself to impress Janice. Needless to say, they parted after their first face-to-face encounter with mixed feelings. Discovering incompatibility in e-mail exchanges becomes much easier if you follow these tips: BE TRUTHFUL in your own description. While mingling among singles in a highly competitive environment you may be tempted to paint your very best picture. Putting your best foot forward does not mean inflating your image or exaggerating in your profile. The key to finding a compatible love is being authentic instead of pretending to be what you are not. Being real may not guarantee a huge number of online dates, but if you are serious about, love the bottom line is quality, not quantity. To find a like-minded date, don't play games. When your profile rings true, you will probably attract someone who is also truthful. DIG DEEPER once you have begun your email exchange. Ask questions about his or her life, values, beliefs, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Rephrase your questions in subsequent e-mails and compare the answers. Continue to go back to the person's profile and look for discrepancies. For example, to verify a person's age, ask when they either left high school or graduated from university. To find out if he or she really loves hiking, ask where they usually hike. To check employment, ask what he or she does during a regular workday and if they enjoy their work. Aaron believed he was e-mailing the kindest girl until he asked Kyra about her relationship with her sister. Kyra electronically flew off the handle calling her sister names. Aaron new then that he did not like the other Kyra he had just been exposed to. The only thing you risk by asking questions is that your new e-mail friend will drop "out of the loop." BRING UP ISSUES that are important to you. If one of your priorities is family, talk about your respective families. It won't take long to find out if this is a shared priority. If you love traveling, raise this topic to see if there is excitement or if he or she has even boarded a plane. Perhaps education, knowledge or current issues are of great interest to you. In that case, raise these matters in your dialogue to probe his or her awareness and interest. A healthy lifestyle might be important to you. Talk about it! There is no point in involving yourself with someone with no interest in a healthy lifestyle. Whatever your values, beliefs or worldviews, use the e-mail exchange to reflect on these issues. Read between the lines. We all have a tendency to read or see things we like, even when they are not there. This practice will help you to determine compatibility early in the game. Shared values are important ingredients for long-term commitment. REMEMBER the reason why you are meeting someone online. If you just want to increase your circle of friends, by all means have fun and meet everyone. If you are searching for the love of your life, be selective and dig deeper. Don't waste each other's time. Far too many singles have depleted their dating energy by e-mailing all night long with people who they would never introduce to their parents. Be smart and cut to the chase! © 2004 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of "Are You Fit To Love?" ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. Visit her website at www.fit2love.com Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website http://www.fit2love.com and take the Fit 2 Love test.
MORE RESOURCES:
Dating - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
When it Comes to Multicultural Dating The Most Important Ingredient is Love Have you been only dating people from your own ethnic background, to find that no matter what you try, there just seems to be no spark or real passion occurring in the relationship? Are you just about ready to give up on finding a soul mate? Well before you lose all hope in the dating world, you may want to try exploring dating someone who comes from a different culture than you. Who knows, you may just discover that a multicultural relationship is what you need to discover that special spark you've been searching for. Creating Your Online Dating Profile Are you considering the possibility of using an Online Dating Site to find the Date or Love of your dreams? Yes? Well, did you know that the most important part of finding your special someone through online dating is your profile. As explained in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" even if you plan on being proactive in your search, you will still need a stellar profile. Your Online Personal Ad- Write For Success! Where are all the good men/women? You go to parties, sign up for various activities and ask friends and family if they know anyone they can introduce you to. Yet, your dating life has been more than a little disappointing. Online Dating - Six Ways to Protect Your Privacy in Cyberspace Online dating is becoming more and more mainstream, as people from all walks of life plug in and find their soul mate in cyberspace. Here are six tips to finding that special someone while still maintaining your privacy and safety online. COMING SOON??Online Attractions In my attempts to find the love of my life, I knew that they were not going to be found in the town where I lived, so I took to the Internet. My first experience was the result of a television commercial. If You Want A Date, Promote Yourself! How to find a date? Promote yourself! That's one of the key you should consider. It sounds too planned, too contrived, right? You probably wonder whereas the romance; where are all the rainbows, fireworks and stars?Probably that is what you have in mind when advised to put on a personal ad in different kind of publications. Avoiding the Grand Manipulator Let's face it.. Using the Internet as a Method for Adult Dating In this day and age, many find it hard to find someone that can share their passion and love with. With so many people experiencing a hard time with relationships and many have gone through failed affairs, a multitude have given up and just moved on. Inexpensive Dating Ideas Dating and saving money. For many, the two concepts don't equate. Online Dating - Confidence Builder Most of us have different levels of confidence. I'm sure you have met a variety of confident types. Guys that Beautiful Girls Want: You Can Be One "Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us."- Earl NightingaleI have a good friend, let's call him Ted, who's pretty average looking. Building Self Confidence The building of self-confidence is not difficult, but it requires patience and intelligent effort. There should be no straining, no anxiety, and no haste. Internet Dating for Men Over the past several years online dating has become very popular. Many men try this format of dating or meeting in an effort to meet someone special without the risk of face-to-face rejection. Dating Tip for Women: Dont Work Too Hard Remember Jerry Hall, the model who married Mick Jagger? Jerry was famous for making this statement:"My mother said it was simple to keep a man. You must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom. How to Find the Background of Your Online Date The popularity of online dating has increased dramatically over the past few years. While most online daters are honest and straightforward, some seriously misrepresent themselves. How to Flirt and Never Get Rejected! When it comes to flirting, you can get your point across very easily just using your eyes. Take a moment and watch people who are in love. The Best First Date First dates cause anxiety and thoughts of disastrous and embarrassing moments. We all dread the awkward but necessary first date. What To Put On A Dating Site Profile And What To Leave Out Your dating site profile is the most important tool you have to find love online-and fast. It's the identity that you put forward to other online daters, it's what people see when they're looking for people like you and it's all you've got to make a first impression and pull in the proposals. Online Dating Tips for the Digital Age of Romance We are romantic creatures. We are social creatures. What is Confident Rapport? The majority of theories on how to pick up girls were compiled by guys who had problems with women and tried to get better. Therein lies the very nature of the problems with most theory.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
