| ||
| ||
|
||
|
|
|
Happiness as a Habit
Health and Happiness are the two things that most people will tell you they desire most. Ask a parent what they want most for their child and they will almost always say, "I really don't care, as long as they are healthy and happy." Sometimes people say they want love, success or wealth, but when asked why, they think for a moment and then say because these things would make them happy. Usually people desire health above all else but only when they feel that it is threatened. People rarely think about health when they are young, fit, pain and disease free. The single most sought after life experience is happiness. If you made a list of the things you wished to improve in your life and then added notes alongside each item, detailing the amount of time and effort you were putting into each one, you would be greatly surprised at the lack of logic and or commitment you are applying to increasing or maintaining happiness. You may have happiness as the thing you most desire but your notes may reveal you spend 50 hours a week at your career, 10 hours housekeeping and 20 hours watching T.V. Next to the word 'Happiness' you may find, '10 minutes' or more likely, 'No time at all'. Have you ever even stopped to think about what it is that makes you happy? Has it ever dawned on you to actively pursue happiness? Most of us simply consider happiness to be a random act that catches us fleetingly and disappears all too soon. Happiness has fascinated me my entire life, I constantly seek it and play with it. I'm getting better at prolonging it and faster at recognizing it. Honestly, sometimes I just sit and focus on happiness until, "I bring it on". It takes a little concentration, sometimes some memory and sometimes imagination. Practise and focus have resulted in my ability to simply decide to be happy and I remind myself to do this often. I used to wait and be surprised and delighted when something caused me to be happy until I realized I could actually get happiness without an event or situation. When happiness comes accidentally it entices us to, "be in the moment". Most of us are mentally in a perpetual state of being in the past or future most of the time. In happiness, we pull our attention into the present moment to fully experience this great feeling. (Pain also has this ability.) I mention this, as I know that the most essential requirement for happiness is to practise, 'Living in the present moment'. Happiness is a present moment experience. A couple of my other favourite quotes, which illustrate this point, are: Life is what happens while your busy making other plans. (John Lennon) This is not a dress rehearsal - This is your life. These days will one day become the good old days. Between the wanting and the getting - Is the living. We all wait for happy events to come and find us or we sometimes actively seek out things that we believe will bring us happiness. Winning money, buying a big-ticket item, getting married, having a child, a holiday, a promotion or finding a new lover are usually considered to be happy events. Many of us spend a great amount of time, effort and money actively pursuing these things. Unfortunately these things come with a 'Happiness expiry date'. Ironically, we often find our happiness list reverses on us at a later date. We then hear, "I'll be happy when my divorce comes through, when I retire, when the kids leave home." The car you once dreamed about owning is now just a costly mode of transport. Your bride has become your witch and your home is cluttered with things you long forgot you even possess. Happiness is not about having - Happiness is about being. We have all heard it before but we must constantly remind our selves, 'Happiness comes from within'. Happiness is internally generated not externally manufactured. Happiness is not a tonic with a recipe; I cannot give you a list of things to do to guarantee your happiness. Some people seem to never be happy, no matter what and yet other people are just filled with joy for the simplest reasons. Most of the time I am happy for no particular reason at all other than the fact that I choose to be. There are two basic principles that I do consider to be imperative; One; Is actively pursue, maintain, expand and share happiness. Two; Is minimize, eliminate and repel unhappiness. The most important aspect of happiness is to choose what thoughts you will entertain and which thoughts you will dismiss. Eliminate what you hate. This is going to sound a little obvious but it's amazing when you get down to it, just how much grief you may be hanging onto without ever giving it any serious thought at all. "How much of your time, emotion and energy are you wasting on maintaining things that make you unhappy?" Some people spend their entire working life is jobs that are almost soul destroying. Many people stay in relationships that are physically, mentally and emotionally draining. We may have friends, colleagues, neighbours or relatives that simply, 'drive us crazy' and yet we maintain them. Some people hold on to addictions or habits that time and again bring about the same destructive outcome and yet they still go around and around repeating the cycle over and over. If you are serious about increasing your happiness level you must first define what makes you unhappy and take action to eliminate it. Being unhappy robs us of our health by depleting our energy. Love and happiness are the highest and lightest forms of energy. This higher, lighter form of energy is self-generating. Unhappiness robs us of energy and if left unchecked will lead to depression and tiredness. Your energy level is a great way to measure your happiness or your stress level. It is also gives you an accurate indication of your health in general. Happiness and love will fill you with energy and a good supply of energy will bring you more joy. If it brings your Grief - Make it Brief. Where is your focus and what is your perception? Almost every terrible thing that ever happened to you only happened in your imagination. Just think back over the last year and remind yourself of the things that had you tossing and turning in bed at night. Try and recall all the things that really had you worried, scared or upset. How many actually happened? And of the ones that did happen, how many were anywhere near as bad as you had imagined? Stepping up and stepping out of our comfort zones. You know the saying, "One door closes and another door opens." I've often been very frustrated with this, as I wondered, "Why doesn't the new door ever open before the old door closes?" It seems to me that more often than not, my doors close long before the new doors open and I have spend a long time being panicked in corridors. It's scary! Life gives us many situations in which we lose our comfort zone long before our new life is revealed to us. Ah, life in limbo! We handle it badly, but a fact of life it is. In reinventing yourself you are going to have to accept that limbo is not only a high probability but you are also going to have to actively take yourself there deliberately. I have often thought of my life pushing me up an arduous mountain and leaving me with no way of going back, I imagine fire moving swiftly behind me, threatening me and pushing me forward. When I reach the top of the mountain I realize I must jump or be engulfed by the fire. The terror of believing I will either be burned to death or smashed against the rocks at the bottom of the mountain has me completely immobilized. Then somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a voice, "Jump, you can fly!" If you want small, safe changes to occur in your life then the effort and risk will not be so frightening but if you really wish to "Step out and step up" You had better accept that you will need to be Bold and Brave. You will never fly if you won't leave the ground. Sonya Green West Australian Author and Personal Growth workshop facilitator. Writer and producer of guided meditations and webmaster of http://www.reinventingmyself.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Happiness - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Laughter and Your Health Did you know that according to research, children laugh about 400 times a day while adults only laugh about 15 times a day? Some how we lost the ability to laugh, as we got older. Could it be that putting more humour and laughter into our day will improve our health and wellbeing?In an article written by Drs. It's Good to be Goofy To paraphrase a saying my mother liked to use occasionally, "The whole world is goofy - except you and me. And sometimes I'm not too sure about you!"Rest assured that no matter who we are or what we do, there is at least a handful of people somewhere in this world who are convinced that we're not rowing with both oars in the water. Giving Attention To Happiness When I left England in 2000 there did not seem to be much happiness around. People in modern western society tend to be self focused to the extreme, prone to criticise rather than support or applaud, and with little time or inclination to devote to others. Getting In Touch With Your Inner Feelings Every disease or ailment, whether it be cancer, diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure or something else, has a series of warning signs. In ever case, when we experience an abnormality, we tend to move quickly to do something to get back to normal. Simple Pleasures: Ingredients to Feed Your Spirit. "When we do something we love, again and again, our life comes to hold the fragrance of that thing. ~ Wayne MullenCold air slips through the cracks in my doorway and around my windows. What The Bleep Are You So Happy About? Could you stand to have a lot more happiness in your life? I've tried all kinds of self-help techniques and have suddenly found much more happiness and fun than ever before. It's fast, it's easy, and you can see results within a week. Discover a Momentary Miracle Each moment is filled with miracles - very special treasures to discover. All we need to do to see miracles is look with a spirit of gratitude. Colors: How Do They Make You Feel? One of the most important colors in advertising is the color blue. Calm, comforting, soothing, and peaceful are all feelings evoked from this color. The Voiceless WE count the broken lyres that rest Where the sweet wailing singers slumber, But o'er their silent sister's breast The wild-flowers who will stoop to number? A few can touch the magic string, And noisy Fame is proud to win them: Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them!Nay, grieve not for the dead alone Whose song has told their hearts' sad story,-- Weep for the voiceless, who have known The cross without the crown of glory! Not where Leucadian breezes sweep O'er Sappho's memory-haunted billow, But where the glistening night-dews weep On nameless sorrow's churchyard pillow.O hearts that break and give no sign Save whitening lip and fading tresses, Till Death pours out his longed-for wine Slow-dropped from Misery's crushing presses,-- If singing breath or echoing chord To every hidden pang were given, What endless melodies were poured, As sad as earth, as sweet as heaven!Reflections on 'Voice'My wife and I recently attended a showing of "Rwanda" - an unforgettable and harrowing experience. You Can't See Your Own Eyes My friend called me this morning from her favorite coffee shop. She was taking a break from work. Have Fun, Make Friends, Be Happy I always marvel at the way people shine when they break through a roadblock in their lives. It's brilliant and it's also incredibly attracting. Happiness - Work Now or Later? Long-term success and happiness follows hand-in-hand with strength of character.As I mention in my book, Fast Track Your Success and Happiness, If we want to achieve a certain goal, we simply must do things that are less pleasant now than other alternatives have the potential to be. Most of Your Unhappiness in Life is Due to... I want to share with you today one of those great moments, when you suddenly experience a life changing burst of clarity. When suddenly the answer you're searching for becomes so obvious - it's right there in front of you, and all you can say is "Wow! Why didn't I realise that before?"This was the first of several moments of awakening for me, following my breakdown in early January 2005. Have You Ever Tasted The Fruit Of Pure Happiness? Have you ever been really happy? Have you ever tasted the fruit of pure happiness? Have you ever completed a task with that feeling of YES! I gave it my all. I'm really happy and proud with what I've done. Gratefulness Gratefulness brings a great fullness to life. The choice to adopt and hold a moment-by-moment attitude of gratitude is the choice that differentiates those who suffer the slings and arrows of misfortune and those who are blessed with a joyous and abundant life. Reframing with NLP For Enhanced Happiness I used to work for the Independent National Newspaper in Canary Wharf, London. I can remember in the build up to Christmas, my department was having a large & expensive new computer system installed because the newspaper was being relaunched, it was when Andrew Marr and Rosie Boycott were becoming joint editors, I digress?. Happiness What is happiness? If we mean by it a state of fulfillment, when everything is going our way, in terms of results as well as efforts (which requires a providential combination of pluck and luck), then it cannot simply be willed; it is partly, if not largely, a gift of fate.Having said this, even this sort of happiness is a product of positive thinking and positive action, with good fortune lending a helping hand. A Bad Hairdresser Day "Hey everybody!" Hairdresser Lady called out. "It's The Happy Guy. Life or Lifestyle? "When you live the life you were meant to live, doing the work you were meant to do, enjoying what pleases you, instead of collecting meaningless lifestyles trophies, you will be full of joy and energy. " Thomas Leonard, Coach UniversityLife or Lifestyle?What is a lifestyle and how is that different from a life? A lifestyle is about brand names and buying identity or prestige. Stop Sickies and Make People Happy At Work If you're an employer or a manager then work place absence is costing you money, inconvenience, and upsetting your customers. And as we all know, not all days taken off work are due to genuine sickness.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
