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You...Your Emotions...Your Relations...Your Happiness and Your Life...
We are living in an era, where relations' management is at its low. If the IT or ITES/BPO industry is promoting relations among the employees?the short duration of relations is also a gift of it. There are numerous cases of divorces, I have witnessed in last couple of years, wherein couples decided to separate within one year of marriage. Why so??? It is very easy to say, "I love you" to people around you but how many of us really understand the meaning, probably, no one. Recently, we had a hot debate on the effect looks/attractiveness in selection/rejection of candidate in interview, but, in fact looks (or I can say glamour) is also important in our personal relations. Asking a male to date an unattractive female is as much similar to asking a female to date a non-wealthy male. Let me share with you that "I love you" is difficult to say (at least if you are not a flirt) and more difficult to understand. Every "I love you" is a promise, a commitment to stand by the person you love- whatever the odds, whatever the outcome, whatever the cost. Every "I love you" is a pact. A sworn oath to stick by each other, to be there for each other, no matter what personal sacrifice is necessary, and no matter what Consequences may befall. Every "I love you" has nothing to do with touches, or kisses, or sweet nothings whispered in an attentive ear." I love you" is more than all these things. It means loyalty and honor and trust without the expectation of the same in return. There is a very famous quote in English, If you love someone, Set them free... If they comes back, they are yours, If they doesn't, they were never there to begin with? Most of my life I have been an outsider and yet I have learned from my experiences and others what true love is. The most purest love is unconditional love. You may be asking me what do I mean by unconditional love? When I say unconditional love, I mean no strings are attached. Perhaps, we should go more in-depth and explain what no strings attached means. We will first go into explaining what unconditional love means. Unconditional means you will love a person no matter what happens between the two of you. A friendship is a good place to start. When I have asked many people what a friend is, I get many different answers. A friend is someone you talk to once in a while. A friend is someone I talk to on the phone all the time. A friend is someone I do things with that has the same interests. A true friend does not even match these definitions that people have said. Now, I will explain the way I understand what a true friend is. A true friend is one who will treat another person like a human being all the time. When you find a person like this in your life (male or female), that kind of friendship is so sacred and a very beautiful thing to have. That person will always be there for you no matter what the situation is, it is the purest love that two people can ever share. There is another kind of pure love, but it is not as pure as two friend's love can be. It is also a beautiful thing and there are things that this love has that a friendship will never have. When two people after being friends for a long time, develop a new feeling where they want to get closer emotionally, they take the next step and become a part of each other. This is the third purest kind of love. There are no strings attached. It is totally unconditional because both people feel the same way. They are not trying to impress each other that they love one another because they both know how they are feeling. This is one of the purest loves that can happen. Of course, they may feel a physical attraction towards another or not. That is not really relevant. The love is pure because there are no preconceived notions before hand. In other words, you are not out to make this girl or guy, your boyfriend/girlfriend. Now the problem occurs when you are so close with the opposite gender as a friend that you decide that now would be a good time to get into a relationship and then realize things are not going so well. You try as hard as you can to make the relationship work, but you both fail miserably. Not only does your relationship fall apart, you are no longer friends. You realize too late that you should both never have gotten into a relationship. I have learned in my personal experiences, there is a strong intimacy that the opposite genders both feel when they get real close to each other. In friendship, it can be quite powerful and very emotional. The problem occurs when this feeling of love that you have in your friendship becomes confused with being in love with that person. The best way to find out if both people feel the same way is to communicate and learn about each other as much as possible. You should know the person inside and out because if you do not and jump into a relationship, the chances are your relationship will not last very long and your friendship will be over. The normal way most people go about getting into a relationship is being attracted to that person and perhaps emotionally attached. They proceed in making this person their boyfriend or girlfriend and yet they know very little about this person. The relationship continues and there is constant fighting. There is no communication. The man thinks he is right and the woman thinks she is right. Meanwhile the relationship is getting worse. Ultimately, the two break up and both people feel they were used as either sexual objects or being used to give the man or woman status without caring that each of them are people. The ideal way of developing a good relationship is to learn more about the other person by communicating and getting to know what this person's ideals and values are. The worst thing you can do is have preconceived notions about a person you do not even know. You are searching for a needle in a haystack and the chance of your relationship not working is 99. The most ideal relationship is marriage. A marriage is the second purest type of love two people can have for each other. The most ideal marriage is if you are friends already. You have both parts of the equation: the unconditional friendship and the love that no friendship can ever compare with. The problem occurs when two people start attaching strings to their significant other. The marriage struggles because it is not unconditional any more. Each person feels they have to do things to show they love each other. When you love someone, you do it because you love them, not because you have to show you love them. Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Sometimes we may think that the person we love is the only one that is worth it for us. But I must say that having a broken heart is just a part of life, one that must be endured and overcome. However, it is pointless to stay that way. "Love" does not mean holding on to feelings and being "devoted" to someone you couldn't have anyway; it is wanting what's best for the other person, even if it means that you don't get what you want. That's not to say that the pain shouldn't exist, or that it will fade away just like that, but truelove desires the happiness of the one you love. Life is very funny and interesting as well, as I mentioned to you?the other day, "aiesa nahi hai ki duniya mein pyar nahi milta per jahan umid ho iski wahan nahi milta" If we can realize these things beforehand, we can save that piece of our heart for someone else--someone who will share a life with us in a union so beautifully that we would cry tears of joy at the thought of it, as opposed to the tears of pain. Letting go. It is difficult for us in so many ways and on so many levels. Yet life calls upon us to do it, over and over again. Letting go is part of our growth process. We cannot move on to the new while continuing to cling to the old. Most importantly, if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. · Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. · Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. · Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. · Hold your head up because you have every right to. · Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. · You can make of your life anything you wish. · Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. That all, I can say?live your life?as it comes, live for your present?your future?not for your past. Enjoy your life?because this is a path?you will never walk again. Looking forward to your comments. Enjoy this festival time with your near and dear ones and pleaseee?do take care of yourself. Regards, Sanjeev Sharma
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