| ||
| ||
|
||
|
|
|
Its All About Me: Why Its Good to Be Selfish
I started thinking about this topic during a discussion of "What You Wish You Knew Then". People were talking about the differences in their lives once they discovered that what makes them happy is just as important as what makes other people happy. It really is true...if you are not happy, then it's likely that no one around you is happy. Sounds self-centered to some people, especially women, but it's not. And it is not even close to Gordon Gecko's philosophy of "Greed is good." Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach University, said, "When you become truly selfish, you'll have the extra reserves needed to really care about-and be generous with-others." Think about it. When you truly take care of yourself, only then can you have the reserves necessary to be generous with others. How many of us have this backwards? We take care of everyone (and everything) else, and leave ourselves for last. How can we even think about being generous with what we don't have to give? For many of us, this phenomenon is a significant contributor to our stress levels. And we're accomplishing great things in spite of our stress levels, so what's wrong with that? The obvious answer is burnout. We see it all around us. Friends, colleagues and family members who are stuck in careers they don't want, in relationships that are going nowhere, living lives they didn't choose-their gifts and talents going underutilized, or being buried under the pile of "shoulds". Perhaps the real benefit of becoming selfish is giving your gifts and talents room to develop. "Gifts and talents need nourishment; they don't blossom fully without it. If you've got a special talent or gift-and most of us do-become selfish for the sake of that if you cannot bring yourself to be selfish for your own sake." (Thomas Leonard, again.) We each have been given an incredible opportunity. I believe we all owe it to the world to live the best life we possibly can. There's no point to doing otherwise. Are you doing that? I know I'm not, but I am getting better at it. Maybe if each of us gets a bit more selfish, we'll not only be living the lives we want and deserve, but being more generous with each other and changing our world as we go. Now the question is, "Where do I even begin to be more selfish?" Try scheduling some time each week, when it really is "all about you"...and keep the appointment! Time to read a book, take a bath, get outdoors, write in your journal (or work on that novel)-whatever you need to do more of to take care of your self. You'll be surprised how quickly you (and your friends and family) see a change. Go ahead?make your self happy! (c)2005 Barbara Bellissimo. Barbara Bellissimo is a women's life transformation coach, and author of the book, "Become Your Own Great and Powerful: A Woman's Guide to Leading Your Real, Big Life." Visit http://www.seasonsofsuccess.com to get her no-cost special report--"Turn On Your Power and Lead Your Self to Greatness"--and her easy-to- use tools and ideas for leading the real, big life you want--right now!
MORE RESOURCES:
Happiness - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Life Management Skills for Greater Happiness "Circumstances are the rulers of the weak; they are but the instruments of the wise." -Samuel LoverOne of the most common complaints people have these days is that their plate is fuller than full. Inevitable Changes and Changeless Connections Sometimes change is pleasant. A child is born. 7 Things Happy People Know How To Do Ever notice how some people just seem to be able to be content and bounce back no matter what the circumstances? Research shows that this isn't a gift or a talent - it's a skill that they have developed. Surprised? Well, the real surprise is that you too can put to work their techniques and make your life happier too. 5 Fabulous B's for the Happiest You! Sure it sounds easy? "Be happy." Let's face it there is a little art and a lot of personal measures you can take to reveal true and lasting happiness. 10 Fun Ways To Live An Enchanted Life Today! I am often asked how I can live the way I do. Who pays me to be a real-life Merlin? It's not as if you can open the paper and read a want Ad for such a position. Making Peace With Sloth: The Value of Natural Pace Though his racing speed is a maximum 6 feet per minute, the sloth has won the race against time. It's not that he's immortal, it's just that he's efficient. Seven Steps to a Better Day Are you tired of the same routine day after day? Do you feel as if today is only a speed bump in the road between yesterday and tomorrow? Well, you're not alone! Many people live day-to-day with little hope for anything getting better. Some are trapped in corporate jobs where they are little more than rats in a maze. Why Choosing To Be Happy Is Not Enough I talked in a recent article about how every moment in life gives you a choice. You can choose a path that leads to happiness, or you can choose a path that leads to unhappiness. Breaking the Cycle Breaking the cycle is a term we have all heard. Especially if we come from a family (and these days who doesn't) that has a history of some type of violence and/or drug abuse whereas this phrase is told to us over and over. 5 Keys to Understanding Why Your Life (probably) Sucks # 4 We are in constant competitionIf we take evolution seriously, then the reason why we lasted this long (individually and as a race) stems from the fact we have adopted a survivor mentality. Either consciously or unconsciously we subscribe to the "survival of the fittest" mentality. Happiness and Keeping Ahead of the Joneses Imagine that the Internal Revenue Service in your country claimed that you owe $1000 plus in tax arrears.You dispute this, and you challenge the tax people in court, but the court rules that they're right. The Voiceless WE count the broken lyres that rest Where the sweet wailing singers slumber, But o'er their silent sister's breast The wild-flowers who will stoop to number? A few can touch the magic string, And noisy Fame is proud to win them: Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them!Nay, grieve not for the dead alone Whose song has told their hearts' sad story,-- Weep for the voiceless, who have known The cross without the crown of glory! Not where Leucadian breezes sweep O'er Sappho's memory-haunted billow, But where the glistening night-dews weep On nameless sorrow's churchyard pillow.O hearts that break and give no sign Save whitening lip and fading tresses, Till Death pours out his longed-for wine Slow-dropped from Misery's crushing presses,-- If singing breath or echoing chord To every hidden pang were given, What endless melodies were poured, As sad as earth, as sweet as heaven!Reflections on 'Voice'My wife and I recently attended a showing of "Rwanda" - an unforgettable and harrowing experience. Divining your Number of Destiny Your Destiny Number, which describes all of the talents and potentials that are at your disposal in this lifetime, is calculated from the letters that compose your full birth name. This is not your married name, but rather the name that is found written in full on your birth certificate. Having Fun with Life It was just a few degrees shy of swimming weather a few weeks ago at the beach. I walked along the shore in my jeans and a red tankini top, the salt air refreshing against my skin but not quite cold. Emotional Baggage We all have them. It has many faces. A Shortcut to Happiness -- Vote with Live 8 Did you see any of the Live 8 performances in support of stopping poverty in Africa? Here's your chance to create a shortcut to your own happiness by voting to help others. You can support the creation of the happiness of survival for them. The Great Opportunity I assume you want to be happier. Searching for greater happiness is a wonderful thing whatever level of happiness you are currently at. Our Feelings and Attitudes Around Happily Ever After Our feelings and attitudes have a huge impact on our ability to achieve 'happily ever after.' Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict?Feelings are what they are. Who Is More Likely To Be Happy? Here's a multiple choice question for you. Who is more likely to be happy?(a) Someone who lays awake for an hour or so at night, replaying the day in their mind and agonising over what could have been, and what should have been. A Surefire Way To Manage Your Fears While Leading A Happier, Healthier Life Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears in a quick and painless manner. In fact it can even become fun!Did you know only two of all the fears you have are innate: The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
