| ||
| ||
|
||
|
|
|
Wedding Planning: Involve your Fiancé in 10 Easy Steps
He's popped the question. You've chosen a date. And now, you're swimming in a sea of euphoria with no horizons. Good thing, too, because there are literally a thousand things to arrange before the big day. You do the research, buckle under and dive in. But you find your fiancé's ardor for the event itself seems to have cooled. It's not that he isn't mad about marrying you; after all, he is a great guy, even if he can't tell a Vera Wang from a Gunny Sack. It's that his preparation style is hands-off, to say the least. And planning a wedding isn't a job built for one. So what to do? Here are ten ways to involve him without increasing both of your stress loads: 1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him. The worst thing you can do is expect him to match your ten to twenty years of feminine wisdom on the relative merits of buttercream vs. fondant. Here are some probable no areas when roping in a reluctant wedding planner: - Selecting the cake frosting Then there are the potential maybes, fraught with fewer hazards: - Choosing the photographer These are probable yeses, well worth running by your guy: - Selecting the DJ or the band 2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors and styles, narrow down the choices first. It's a jungle of options out there, enough to give the most natural-born party planner pause. So if you want his opinion on photographers, invites, flowers or cakes, narrow down the options to three or four. He's less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of the process. At times, it'll feel so good to share the load that you'll be tempted to drag him into the buttercream debate despite your better instincts. At these times, take a deep breath, count to ten, and call your mother or your maid of honor. 3) Ask him directly for help. Let him know how important his input is to you, and that you can't do it without him. Guys like to be needed. Your frank request for help may be enough to pull him out of his comfort zone and onto your team. 4) Try the Art Director/Production Staff approach. If you think your guy wants to help, but feels uncomfortable playing "art director," give him "production staff" tasks. Have him make the payments, pick up the food or decor, handle the rentals, do online comparison shopping, or reserve the hotels and reception halls. These are all jobs that will take a load off your shoulders, while freeing up time for the aesthetic stuff you probably enjoy and he doesn't. 5) Get a calendar and put all the planning in black and white. Your fiancé probably doesn't have the first clue in what goes into a wedding. Get your wedding planner, write it all down, and show him. Once he gets over the shock, you'll both probably be able to identify areas that interest him. Make lists of the things you've each agreed to do, and cross them off as they get done. At the very least, he'll be far more supportive when he sees what you're going through. 6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity/traditions into the ceremony. What did his parents do? He might be surprised at the question, but it could lead somewhere valuable. He might ask his parents about their wedding, and find your wedding consequently enriched. Look through their wedding album together. Are his ancestors German, Polish, Italian, Croatian, Asian? Incorporate some old-world traditions into your ceremony. 7) Don't bring him in too early. Treat your fiance as a bit of a pinch hitter. Sure, you may be fully aware that you can shave 5K off your costs by starting your favor crafts and reservations 18 months ahead of time. But if he's like most guys, the wedding won't become real to him until it draws closer. Expect him to jump in about six months before the actual ceremony, and break into a (relative) frenzy of activity about one month in advance. 8) Talk about something besides the wedding. Guys aren't the only ones who complain about brides-to-be talking of nothing but upcoming nuptials. Sometimes, even girlfriends get overwhelmed by all the wedding chatter. Spend some time alone chatting about anything but the wedding. See a silly movie, split a hot fudge sundae, or watch a basketball game. Do something spontaneous that reminds you both of why you decided to marry in the first place. 9) Check your subtext for hidden meanings. Tempting as it might be, make sure you're not using your fiance as a coin-toss tool (ever noticed how people flip coins to find out what they really want?). When you ask for his opinion, take it seriously. And when you give him ownership of a task, don't second-guess every step. Imagine that your fiancé has told you he's going to draft a dream team in his fantasy football league, and it's going to cost him $20K to participate. Now imagine that he's told you your help is supremely important to him. You'd be a little hesitant to give opinions, right? Some of your ideas might sound feeble, even to your own ears. Hopefully he'd welcome your thoughts, however odd it felt for you to venture them. Now imagine your fiancé feels kind of like that when it comes to the wedding. 10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one. Chances are, your sweetheart will open his eyes to the wonder of a wedding by the time the rose petals are tossed. Forever after, he'll be examining friend's receptions with a practiced eye, and anticipating the next excuse for a Really Big Shindig. So keep him around, and count on throwing a first-rate anniversary celebration ten years down the road. In a way, that'll be the party that really matters, won't it? Blake Kritzberg is editor at "FavorIdeas.com." Stop by for wedding favor ideas, Save-the-Date eCards, free wedding screensaver, free wedding templates and Bridezilla's weekly adventures at: http://www.favorideas.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Marriage-Wedding - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Unique Beach Wedding Themes If you are considering a beach wedding, the ideas are as endless as your imagination!One thing about choosing a beach wedding theme is that it allows you total creative freedom. Depending on the time of day, the beach can set the mood. Cheap Wedding Party Gifts Thanking your wedding party with special gifts is a favored tradition. Depending on the size of your wedding party it can be an expensive one as well. Beautiful Balloon Wedding Decorations Need a quick idea to dress up a mediocre wedding? Balloon decorations are just what you need. These do-it-yourself ideas are not only low-cost but also lovely additions to a wedding ceremony or reception. Organized Brides: Why They are Going Online Brides looking to stay on top of their wedding plans are flocking to the internet in search of helpful wedding resources, planning tips and ideas. And they're not being disappointed. Focus On What Is Important - Your Wedding Disc Jockey Choice Your true love got down on his knees and asked you to marry him. Barely able to get the words out, you say "I Will". Wedding Tips for Saving Your Sanity and Your Bank Account Overwhelmed is a common feeling a bride-to-be experiences as she begins to delve into the $45 billion a year world of planning a wedding. However there are several ways to deal with the incessant head spinning that can ensue as you begin to contemplate who to invite, what to feed everyone, where to have it, and how in the world you can stay within your budget without requiring a stylish white straight jacket to wear with your Badgley Mischka gown. Belize Honeymoon Resorts The enchanting Belize honeymoon resorts captivate every visitor through the appealing secluded jungle atmosphere as well as the beautiful hideaway crystal-clear beaches. One of these resorts would be the Turtle Inn Resort Located in Placencia in Belize, which promises a stay within the natural wonders of the tropical coast. Do We Still Need Wedding Traditions? Traditionally at weddings the speechs are made after the wedding dinner but do the speech makers really enjoy their meal? I have been to weddings where the best man could not eat his dinner because of nerves!!Traditions come into being when many people do the same thing over and over again so by definition we can start our own traditions to suit the times in which we live. So when it comes to speaking and eating at a wedding then why not reverse the order and let everyone enjoy their meal!!Now more than ever before we stand up for the right to express our individuality so why on one of our most precious of days do we feel bound by the past and what is traditional? Our wedding day should be an expression of who we are, of who these two people are and how they are going to mix. Budget Tips For Your Wedding Reception Wedding receptions are expensive affairs and can set you back a pretty penny. However, most brides have their heart set on an all out wedding reception. Las Vegas Helicopter Weddings If you've always dreamed of flying in a helicopter, Las Vegas helicopter weddings are your chance to incorporate that dream into your wedding plans. You may think of your helicopter as mere transportation, taking you from one location in and around Las Vegas to another or you may plan your entire wedding inside the helicopter while you are up in the air, or on the way to the location of your choice. Gatlinburg Honeymoon Packages Gatlinburg in Tennessee is the city with streets of art galleries and quaint shops selling local arts and crafts. It is also home to the world-renowned Arrowmont Craft School. Free Wedding Planning Guide and Checklist With so much to do, every bride needs a surefire way to get organized and stay on track as she countsdown toward that all-important day. Here's a guide and checklist you won't want to be without. Hey, Where Do I Put My Speakers? Unique Venues Require Unique DJs If your wedding or party is being held in a unique facility with specific acoustic issues (multiple rooms, indoor/outdoors, echo issue, broken up ceiling surface, in a tent, etc.) then you need to educate yourself. Classic White Color for Bridal Gown Ever since Queen Victoria wed in 1840, however, white has remained the traditional color for wedding gowns and bouquets. A woman then used her dress for Court Presentation after marriage, usually with a different bodice. How to Choose Your Wedding Shoes Wedding day is known as the most unforgettable day in human life. Most women wish that day could be perfect and hoping nothing would go wrong. Marital Fulfillment: Tips for Intercultural Couples Through my personal & professional coaching practice, marital issues often come up as factors affecting a client's personal & career goals. Intercultural relationships is an area of personal experience, as my own marriage is one such relationship. Wedding Etiquette for the Best Man, Groomsmen, and Ushers Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good men-often his brothers, college buddies, and best friends-to carry out all of the responsibilities traditionally assigned to the guys. Once your fiancé has picked his team, he'll have to give them a few pointers on just what their roles and responsibilities are, so here's the lowdown. Marriage Counseling: How to Reduce Hurt Feelings When You and Your Spouse Disagree One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how to reduce the hurt feelings that can result from arguments and disagreements. The fall-out from a no-holds barred "kill your opponent" verbal altercation can last for decades. Diamond Engagement Ring, on Two Months Salary - Maybe Not! Diamond spending - well, that is up to you. What to spend on a diamond is a tough and personal question. Anniversary Gift Guide An anniversary gift is the opportunity to show your loved one precisely how much they mean to you and how special you think they are.The list at the bottom of this post shows the traditional anniversary gifts for each of the major wedding anniversaries.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
